Happy Valentine’s Day!
Wishing you a day full of hugs, kisses, and happiness with your Valentine!
baby
Savannah Sitter Session | Charlotte, NC Baby Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Audrey hit the streets of Savannah, Georgia for her sitter session. We strolled along the beautiful streets near the picturesque squares full of gorgeous greenery, landscaping, and architecture. Even in the hustle and bustle of busy Saturday morning crowds, we were able to capture some beautiful images of Audrey. The perfectly manicured parks, trolleys, horse-drawn carriages, and spanish moss make Savannah, Georgia a dream location for a photographer!
Black and White Newborn Photos | Charlotte Newborn Photographer | Charlotte, NC | Krista Gantt Photography
Rigdon's Story
This is a story I wanted to share for a while, but it never felt like the right time. Today is Rigdon's birthday, so what better way to kick of the blog for 2018 than sharing about this preemie and his super sweet family! You've probably already seen many of these images on an old post (Remembering Rigdon), but this time they are accompanied by his entire story from beginning to end.
Rigdon's mom was willing to write her version of Rigdon's life story, and even found writing about it therapeutic. I can't even begin to understand the emotions Liz and Alan went through over the past few years, especially now that I am expecting a son of my own. I am so happy she shared this with me months and months ago, and I am thrilled to share it with you today. If you have a preemie or have lost a child, make sure to comment with your experience, emotions, and encouragement for this family.
If you want a sneak peak into Liz and Alan's next chapter... check out Bennett's Birth. Although Rigdon can never be replaced, this family was recently blessed with another healthy baby boy!
Rigdon’s Story
"Though some days eternity can feel like forever, I know we will see and hold him again."
"Alan and I had always planned on having children. We never anticipated entering into the ‘infertility club,’ and we kept that part of our lives pretty private as we went through all sorts of procedures/testing, but that was our reality, and it was tough. I remember at one point tearfully praying that IF we were blessed with a child, I would do my best to never take them for granted, because I would know what a miracle he or she was—I had no idea how that prayer would be answered, but felt assured that child or no child, everything was going to be ok. I could never have imagined the miracles I was about to witness!
We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years, and had undergone three IVF attempts by the time Rigdon came into our world. He was decidedly our final attempt through IVF, and we could not believe when we got word that we were going to have a little one! In fact, I don’t think I actually let myself believe it for many many weeks.
When you go through failed fertility treatments, you learn the art of being ‘cautiously optimistic.’ I didn’t share the news until about 20 weeks into my pregnancy, when I finally felt like it was ‘really happening,’ and I allowed myself to just enjoy it. That was a little short lived. The pregnancy was full of its own drama, and I had two episodes of heavy bleeding where I thought “there is no way our baby made it through that!” Both times, I remember sitting in anticipation, paralyzed with concern, waiting for the ultrasound, and both times, weeping with joy when we heard that heartbeat and saw him wiggling around as if to say “I got this. I’m not going anywhere.” I knew from the beginning he was a strong soul. The strongest…
I had just gotten home from my shift in the ER on Jan 21, 2016, and was getting ready for bed, when my water broke. I was completely stunned. I had just started feeling better with the pregnancy symptoms, and had barely started to feel movement; I couldn’t really process what had happened and honestly, I had no idea how our world was about to change. I think I subconsciously, and rather naively, thought “we got this, things are fine, our little guy has shown us he’s strong before,” and off to the hospital we went.
The next few weeks of bedrest are kind of a blur. I had ruptured at 21 weeks and 6 days, and there were a lot of conversations about the lack of much needed amniotic fluid for his lung development in particular, as well as the risk for infection. I had a couple trips to L&D, but the contractions would calm down, and the 3 weeks we were able to keep him in were filled with hope for just one more day for him to grow. We had goals to reach! Our first goal was 24 weeks; we never got to the next one.
During that time, I started thinking back to many years ago, when I had been serving as a missionary, representing our church in the Caribbean. One day when I was struggling with feeling tired, lonely, and dejected, one of the leaders of the mission there said to me: “We can do hard things.” There was more, but that phrase has always stayed with me. And that became our motto. We were feeling tired, often lonely and often dejected, but our little family, our little boy; whatever he would face -- could do hard things.
3 weeks after my water broke, February 11th, Rigdon joined our world. He was a tiny 24 weeker, but was bigger than I thought he’d be. He weighed in at 1 pound 10 ounces and was just 12 inches long…but he looked so strong. The delivery was a bit traumatic, but I remember the seconds after I delivered him as being a moment where time stood still. The room was filled with people ready to act in our behalf, and as they held him there in front of me for a few seconds, despite the voices around me, I heard absolute silence. There was no cry. He couldn’t. I could just stare at that little boy for seconds before they whisked him away to intubate and stabilize him. I couldn’t see him, but I remember vividly the words the NICU team spoke as they surrounded him across the room. His heart rate was dropping,..they got him intubated..his heart rate improved.. The NICU doctor came to my bedside and tenderly placed his hand on mine and told me they would let me know when I could come see him and that they needed to take him then. I remember our exit from L&D without my babe in my arms. That was probably one of the first moments I truly realized the ‘loss’ we were experiencing, and would continue to experience time and again.
Our entrance to the NICU, was unlike our little tour beforehand, because now OUR little baby was in there. This was now our home. I remember seeing him in his little isolette, and wishing so badly that I could hold him; keep him safe, but also being terrified that I’d break such a tiny perfect thing if I touched him. Every experienced hand that worked with him seemed ‘too rough’ and I knew pretty quickly that this little boy now totally owned his momma. I was going to be there every minute possible to witness his life, support him, and protect him. I felt a growing weight of advocacy I had not understood before. We never wanted to leave! (Though I am sure many times the staff wished we would) We grew more and more obsessed with him everyday and if we wanted to be with him, then we had to be there in the NICU, so we were there in the NICU. We didn’t care to be anywhere else.
He is our miracle. He lived in that NICU for 7.5 months (230 days) and our sweet NICU family had become a quite literal family. They will forever be a part of us! They were there to witness every moment by our side. Every milestone was a miracle for us… The first time he opened his eyes, (His eyes were still fused shut when he was born; it was a literal miracle to watch them open in front of us), his attitude with always wanting to kick his feet out of his swaddle, the first feeding, the ridiculously long baths because I was so new and he was so tiny, when he finally weighed enough to wear clothes, moving to an open air crib, and of course, the way he loved to kangaroo. Those are such precious memories that are now shared with people who understand the significance of those miraculous moments in our lives. With as hard as it can be to have the hospital be your home, there are some joys unique to the experience, including having witnesses to every single accomplishment your baby achieves… all rejoicing with you because of how much they love him.
For every moment of pure joy, it seemed we had multiple moments of anguish. Like most parents, we held to the belief that if he could ‘just get through’ whatever had knocked him down this time, then we could get back to working towards healing and home. Every day was one more day of progress, but there were a lot of setbacks. There were nights we stayed by his isolette all night, for fear of missing our last moments with him. There was rejoicing in the morning when he had made it through the night. There was worsening eye disease until he finally required laser surgery. Then there was recovery. There was infection on top of infection and so many blood transfusions, medications, and drips… all within the first 3 or 4 months of his life. We worried that his body never seemed to have time to grow those lungs that were so very weak and underdeveloped. That became our focus of concern. He didn’t seem to be improving as expected.
Rigdon was growing, but his lungs were struggling. He had been tried on CPAP 3 times, and the final CPAP trial lasted 5 days. He was re-intubated on Easter Sunday at 6:45 pm. I remember clearly the moment he was reintubated, because I heard his tiny little lamb like cry as they removed CPAP to place the tube. I only heard his little voice for seconds, and then there was silence. I never heard that little cry again.
He couldn’t seem to get off the vent. Then came the tracheostomy. We had spent months hoping he would grow enough not to need a surgical airway. It scared us—not because we couldn’t care for it or him, but because of what it meant. We were so scared about his future, but knew that our miracle baby had fought hard to get to where he was, and we were going to keep supporting him. As long as he was fighting, we would fight right there with him. We chose faith over fear, and he got his trach and G-tube placed in June. There was about a week of recovery with paralytics, pain medicine, more drips, and, of course, infection. It unfortunately, was a setting we had become familiar with. Nothing came easy for our sweet boy, but if I could define strength, it would be him.
When he came back from surgery, I was mesmerized by his now fully visible face and spent hours staring at him in his crib. I could now see all his features without tape and tubing getting in the way. He was a perfect angel baby! I became instantly grateful for the trach because I felt I was experiencing an entirely new Rigdon! The weeks leading up to the decision were so hard; filled with heartache and a thousand questions—I had no idea I could feel like I was getting back somehow a more ‘complete’ baby, when I was so focused on what I felt was being taken away. The days and hours always felt long, but time was still passing. We watched many many babies come and go from our little part of the world. We went through cycles of sadness, anger, and hopefulness as we went through multiple ‘roommates,’ often feeling a little left behind. Our tiny little miracle boy had somewhere along the way turned hefty, which served as a reminder of our seeming lack of progress, but also, growing right along with him was the deepest, greatest love we could ever imagine. In being honest, we definitely went through moments of jealousy for others’ babies and the progress they were making, but also found great joy in learning that loving and rejoicing with others did not diminish our own situation or triumphs. And that was a big lesson to learn.
Through our extended time in the hospital, I would say my best advice is that we simply cannot compare! That’s the hardest part of having to go through this experience, I think. We want to know the end from the beginning; we want to know how it all turns out, and we find ourselves living for/in the future instead of in the miraculous moments right in front of us. It’s human nature to want to know what’s going to happen, so we try to find others that are ‘just like us’ and somehow use them as a mental guide. We try to compare our struggling child to others’ good outcomes to bring us comfort because “so-and- so went through this and they made it home—so we will, too.” It’s something even well-meaning friends do. “I knew someone that had a baby just like yours, and he/she is completely healthy and you would never know it!” Although, that may be the likely outcome and is meant to give hope, you just never know what is in store for you, and that takes its toll on the heart. Life becomes a constant struggle of balancing hope, realistic expectations, and the ever present gnawing sadness that accompanies watching your baby fight such a battle, and wishing you could do something more.
We had to learn that each and every baby is so individual; there are no comparisons. Nobody can tell you for certain what your outcome will be. You just go through it with faith and hopefulness and take things one day at a time, finding the miracles in everyday moments. We had to learn to “let Rigdon do Rigdon.” Learning not to compare helped us to be able to focus on our own little one and rejoice in His triumphs, regardless of what others were doing the next pod over. It also helped us to be able to reach out and form friendships with others because we no longer saw them as “comparables,” but as individuals with their own individual struggles, fears, and joys. Those friendships have meant so much because a natural byproduct is even more people to love our babies! Of course, there were hard days where we didn’t want to be the friendly veterans, we didn’t want to be in the NICU ‘club.’ Nobody does. We just wanted our turn to take a healthy baby home… But overall, I could never fully describe the love and sacredness of our time experienced within those walls. That was home for us.
Discharge day finally came! I cry every time I think about that day. Truly, there was no better day than the day we took him outside those hospital walls to come home. The amount of equipment required for him was daunting, but was completely overcome by our excitement and desire to watch him soar. He was as stable as possible, but not in a great place to be honest, and we really felt like if we could just get him home where he belonged, then he would begin to really thrive. We dreamt of our walks outside, getting him up from his crib in the next room, playing by our big window on the floor of our living room... we didn’t want to take a single moment for granted. We wanted him to experience being surrounded by the peace of being home, and we will cherish forever the time we did have to give him that.
Rigdon loved being home. We knew it. And We loved it even more! That’s why it was so heart wrenching to see him start to decline. He required more support and we had to experience many parents’ worst nightmare of having to resuscitate your own baby. We knew we had to go back. About 3 weeks after getting him home, we went back to the hospital, this time at LCH where his pulmonologist was, and we were there to stay.
We went to the PICU, and spent the next few months watching Rigdon continue to fight infections, and make small progresses only to be followed by large setbacks. He had been put back on the hospital ventilator and could not seem to tolerate a home vent again. We often said that we hated having to be there, but there was also no place we’d rather be. We were blessed, once again, with wonderful care-- such great love and dedication to our babe. We do not doubt for one second that he was cared for by the best throughout his life, and offered all there was to offer in his behalf. Still, it was hard being away from our NICU family, who knew him so well, and having to develop new relationships with the PICU staff. Turns out, it just added to our growing tribe… I remember it was so hard to try and explain how and why Rigdon had changed and was worrying us. They didn’t know him yet, but that didn’t take long to remedy. He stole their hearts pretty quickly and he had a brand new audience to swoon over his every smile, hand hold, and expression. We saw him laugh for the first time there! It actually scared us at first because the alarm on the vent would go off from the increased pressure, but when we realized he was laughing, I mean, you can’t describe the swelling that happens in your heart! He even had his first and only taste of baby food there (pears). We felt our little room at LCH had become a special place, made special by his sweet spirit, and people loved to come and spend time there with him. (That made it just a little easier, knowing he was being well loved for the times when I couldn’t be there.)
The holidays approached and we knew he was nowhere close to where he needed to be to return home. As had been the case many times before, we were told he was not progressing as expected. We weren’t sure why he wasn’t improving, but kept holding on to the hope that he could overcome his BPD with more time. That timeframe kept getting longer and harder for him. Christmas week was actually a really good week for him, and I think that was a blessing meant just for me. We had a beautiful family Christmas and even took our first family photo to include our surprise miracle baby #2! After being told this would likely never be a possibility for us, we just knew this was another miracle in our lives, and a purposeful blessing given to us for a reason.
Two days after Christmas, Rigdon started to really struggle, and by New Year’s Eve, he was in really bad shape. He had never been like this before. Things were different this time. He was placed on paralytics, the oscillator, multiple sedation and pain meds, and for the next couple of weeks, we watched for him to show us he could get through this once again. The months had been difficult, but he always seemed to have just enough strength to get through. He’d never quit fighting, but this time seemed to be too much for his body. We had been living in his room with him during those final weeks, and when he passed, we held him as tightly as we could physically hold him, as we watched our beautiful miracle baby boy slip away. We found out we were having another baby boy just days before Rigdon passed away.
There is no replacement for our perfect angel boy, and there is a constant throbbing and loneliness for him that I am having to learn to live with now in my heart, but I can say with certainty that his life was full of purpose and we wouldn’t trade a minute of our time with him. He has forever changed us (I hope for the better), and our family, and pretty much everyone that ever knew him. We didn’t get the outcome we hoped for, but the influence of his life continues to unfold in front of us daily. I can say we never took him for granted, as I prayed so long ago, and am so grateful for every long day and night with him… every memory still feels so raw, so fresh in my mind. There is no “moving on” when it comes to missing your baby. Only moving forward. And sometimes, like Rigdon, I feel I am doing that on a sliding backwards slope. BUT – there is meaningful purpose in his life and that helps as we find the joy of having learned to love so deeply and the blessing he is and forever will be to us. I hope to be able to help other moms feel some sense of comfort knowing that I know, with faith and through experience, that we really can do hard things, whatever the outcome, and it will be ok."
Newborn Baby Girl, Charlee | Charlotte, North Carolina Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
I met Charlee on a beautiful spring day. One of my favorite parts about meeting her was the drive down a long dirt road to her house. Most homes I visit in the Charlotte area are in neighborhoods with homes side by side, but Charlee's home is at the end of a gravel road without a neighbor in sight. I always grew up in a neighborhood, so being away from the city is always refreshing to me.
Charlee was born weighing a dainty 5 pounds 9 ounces. She did wonderful at her in-home newborn session and is such a sweet baby. Her big brother is still getting used to not being the star of the show, but I think he secretly loves his baby sister.
Charlie, An Angel | 26 Week Preemie | NICU Portraits | Charlotte, North Carolina NICU Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
You may remember Charlie from a few photos floating around on my Instagram page. When we first met in the NICU last October, Charlie was just over 2 weeks old. He came into this world weighing right at 1 pound. You read that right. Charlie weighed 1 pound 0.02 ounces to be exact.
Although Charlie's life was short, he fought hard to be with his mom and dad. Here is Charlie's life in a nutshell, as told by his mom.
It all started on May 15, 2016. I wasn’t feeling so great and I knew I was late, so I decided to take a pregnancy test. Well it came back positive, and I decided to take 5 more tests just to make sure (I was very surprised). On June 6th we ventured to the doctor to hear Charlie’s heartbeat for the first time. My regular OB/GYN did some blood work and tested for Down’s syndrome but it came back fine. My numbers came back somewhat high for Spina Bifida, so I was referred to a Maternal Fetal Physician.
On August 2nd, Dr. Shaver confirmed we were having a little boy (quite the surprise for me). Charlie was quite active in the tummy and they found that he did not have Spina Bifida. However, the doctor did talk to us about the possibility of preeclampsia. I didn’t think that kind of thing would happen to me.
On September 16th (my birthday) I had a severe headache and could not function very well. By September 19th, I was being admitted to “Special Care” at Presbyterian Main to be monitored for preeclampsia. I was followed closely and Charlie’s heart rate would drop from time to time, which was a cause for concern. On October 3rd I had an ultrasound. Charlie’s heart rate dropped significantly while they were conducting the ultrasound, and that lead to me being sent to L&D for 24 hour monitoring. At 3:45am, I had to use the bathroom and when I returned, the nurse was unable to get Charlie’s heartbeat, even with the assistance of other nurses and a doctor.
At 5:30am my Maternal Fetal Physician made the decision for Charlie to be delivered by C-section because he would not have made it through the next 24 hours if they waited. It was at 6:33am when my story ends and Charlie’s begins...
Charlie was born weighing 1 pound 0.02 ounces and measured in at 10.25 inches long. The doctors prepared me telling me that since Charlie was born so early, he probably would not make any noises when he was born. I prayed and asked for a sign that he was ok. When Dr. White held him up for me to see, he screamed and cried. I cried at that moment because it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I didn’t realize it would be the first and only time I would ever hear him cry.
Upon Charlie’s arrival, Chris met with Dr. Morales and Kayla (nurse) and they talked to him about Charlie. Kayla told Chris that he had nothing to worry about because she would be taking care of him that day. They wheeled me into the NICU from recovery and I was able to touch Charlie for the first time. I could not get over how little he was and that his eyes were still fused shut.
In the following days, we had a lot of ups and downs. The first big hurdle was on October 9th when Charlie was at 100% oxygen. I remember the neonatologist telling us that we didn’t have a lot of options at that point because his lungs were in such bad shape and he needed so much support. Chris and I just looked at each other and cried because we knew he was very premature. Everyone tells you about the roller coaster ride called the NICU.
It was on October 9th that we decided to have Charlie baptized. We wanted to be prepared if anything should happen. We celebrated each milestone as it came... whether it was weight gain, being able to tolerate feeds, skin to skin contact, or something as silly as my first experience with breastmilk poop.
It was not a surprise that Charlie had stolen Kayla’s heart when she first met him, so it was important to Chris and I to ask Kayla about being Charlie’s first primary nurse. As time went on we had Anna, Carmine, Rachel and Hannah all sign up to be primary nurses for him. We did have a few other nurses that had special relationships with us and Charlie but they already had primaries. These women all left a lasting impression on us. We will always see them as “Charlie’s angels.”
Charlie was a feisty little guy. I couldn’t help but laugh when the nurses would tuck him in and swaddle him and he would somehow break free, whether it was his little legs kicking or it was his arms. Out of nowhere, you would see his arm go up in the air like a defiant victory.
It might sound silly but I enjoyed changing his diapers, taking his temperature, wiping his face and just having those few minutes touching him and talking to him, so that he knew I was there. In the morning when I would arrive, I would sing songs to Charlie and talk to him about the great big world. At night time I would go back and read him a bedtime story. His favorite story was “On the night you were born.” I say this was his favorite because it seemed to be the one story that I read to him when he would open his eyes and look around.
My most treasured memories were either when Charlie would grab my finger and hold it, or when we had our skin to skin time and I could just sit there and snuggle with him.
I received a call from the Pediatric Surgeon on 11/26/16 and he informed me that they needed to do exploratory surgery bc they thought Charlie might have Necrotizing Enterocolitis. I would not give verbal consent. I wanted to see Charlie before they did the surgery and I made it to the hospital in time. I got to hold him with the assistance of a Respiratory Therapist until they got his bed set up. They told us he had a 50/50 shot of making it through the surgery, and I remember thinking and feeling like this was all of my fault becasuse of the preeclampsia. I felt like my body failed Charlie and put him through more pain than I went through.
Charlie made it through the surgery and did great. We stayed overnight at the hospital just to be on the safe side. I woke up at 1:45am because I wanted to be at his bedside for his 2am assessment. I received a text at 1:50am from Charlie’s nurse telling me that we needed to get to his bedside. I woke Chris and we went running. As we turned the corner we were not prepared for what we were about to see.
A nurse was giving Charlie chest compressions. His primary nurse had just given him a dose of epinephrine because his heart rate dropped and it was not coming back up. Once they were able to get him stabilized, Chris and I made phone calls and some of our family members came to the hospital. Charlie’s nurses all showed up. Charlie really knew how to draw a crowd and get the emotions going.
Around 9pm Monday night, we started to realize that things were not going as well as they were earlier in the day. Charlie was on 3 different blood pressure medications to bring it up, but nothing seemed to be helping. He just looked so tired. It was at that time that I looked at Chris and I told him that Charlie is getting tired and that we needed to make a decision. He looked at me and shook his head yes. Dr. Morales was getting ready to approach us and tell us about the terrible blood gas that he just had, but I stopped her and said that we knew he was tired. We wanted them to go ahead and unhook Charlie from everything and place him in my arms, and that is how he would leave this world.
Our families and nurses were there and said their goodbyes. We then asked our families to leave and we only wanted Charlie’s nurses, our Deacon and Dr. Morales there. The nurses dressed Charlie and laid him in my arms and Chris sat next to me. I sang to him and told him that we would never be angry for him not wanting to fight anymore. After about 5 minutes, Dr. Morales came over and listened to his heart and looked at us and said that he was no longer with us as of 1:24am.
Dr. Morales and Kayla were there when Charlie came into this world and they were there when he left and that meant so much to us because we had such a wonderful relationship with them. When they removed the ventilator tube, I felt so heartbroken but when I looked at my sweet boy, he had this beautiful smile on his face. It was like he was happy and at peace and I felt like maybe my dad was there to greet him in Heaven.
“Dearest Charlie,
You came into this world on October 4th and changed our lives forever. It seems like only yesterday that we had heard the most beautiful sound upon our ears when you cried. It gave us the greatest comfort knowing that you would be our little fighter, our superhero. We had no idea at that moment that we would gain not only a beautiful little boy in our lives but also a family we didn’t know we would be blessed with. Eight weeks may not seem like a long enough period of time to change people’s lives but you certainly did sweet boy.
Your personality was enormous for such a little peanut. It was not unusual for you to go from swatting your little hands at your nurses and sometimes even mommy to grabbing the finger of those giving you the loving care you received. It was comical to watch your nurses work so hard to bundle you up, only for you to sneak your little arm or leg out and shake them in defiant victory. As if your personality wasn’t enough you were blessed with golden blonde hair and big blue eyes and it is plain to see how you captivated the hearts of all who met you. Speaking of those captivated hearts, as you know they are here with us celebrating you. You may not recognize them without their scrubs on, but we know you recognize them by their love and devotion to taking care of you. Whether it was comforting us when you were having a rough day or celebrating milestones with us, their resolve never wavered.
We could fill volumes of books with the hopes and dreams we had for you. In spite of all of those things we wanted our perfect little boy to be a good person. You exceeded our hopes and dreams in these 8 weeks we were blessed with. You taught us more about unconditional love and compassion than we could have imagined. You made a difference in a way that most people can only dream.
We love you very much, sweet boy, and miss you terribly. There is not a minute we don’t miss you. We can only take comfort in your being set free from the pain and struggle you fought so hard through. You overcame many obstacles in your time on this earth, with great perseverance. There isn’t anything we wouldn’t give to see your beautiful blue eyes looking at us, or feel you squeezing our fingers and not letting us pull away from you.
Watch over all of those gathered here and those who were blessed with your presence. We all have an extra guardian angel now to watch over us. You are loved and missed so much Charlie, and you always will be.
Love always,
Mom and dad”
You Are Not Alone
I want other moms to know that they are not alone and that this is a unique club that no one ever wants to be in. I never in a million years thought that I would be cremating my 7 week old son. I still to this day struggle with the feeling of my body failing Charlie and causing him more harm and pain on the outside. There are triggers everywhere and somedays I can walk around the mall or a store and be ok and other days I can walk in and walk right back out because of my anxieties and triggers. I have a few friends who have suffered miscarriages which is still the loss of a child but they cannot fully relate to what I struggle with because we had Charlie for 7 weeks and had a different experience.
Chris and I started attending Kindermourn for grief counseling which has been great. I started going to a support group last week called “Empty Arms,” which specializes in miscarriages, stillborns and infant loss. The first meeting was definitely eye opening for me. I didn’t expect to be in a group with 4 other couples and myself (Chris does not want to participate in the group) discussing the loss of our children and talking about the trauma that we suffered.
One thing that I have learned is that men and women definitely grieve differently. That is something to be prepared for. Do not let people tell you that whatever you need to do to help you grieve is wrong. There is no handbook on grieving or how to cope with the loss of a child and everyone grieves in different ways. One other thing I wanted to mention is that it is ok to need medicine to help with depression or anxiety. It does not have to be a permanent thing but it can help especially when you are going through so many emotions and it can be very hard to handle.
Newborn Baby Girl, Charlee | Charlotte, North Carolina Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Charlee came to join her big sister Madison in February of this year. She rocked her newborn session and I couldn't be happier with the results! What do you think? She has a head full of hair and looks so much like her big sister, Madison. I just can't even handle how sweet Madison is holding her little sister.
Charlee's neutral grey nursery with pink accents was the perfect backdrop for her family photos. If you know me, you know I'm all about white, ivory, and blush, especially when it comes to newborn photography. A little grey never hurts either!
Update on Jack | 23 Week Preemie | NICU Portraits | Charlotte, North Carolina NICU Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Jack's mom sent me an update on his progress! If you missed him on the blog, click below to see what he looked like shortly after he was born at 23 weeks. Then read below to see what his mom had to say about his progress.
“Jack is doing well! He has been up and down on his feedings. He gets very close to full feedings and then his gut needs a break so we start back very low. He does show cues of hunger and rooting and LOVES taking a bottle. He is 2200 grams now! We are working towards him being in a crib, but don’t want to overload him with a ton of work to do on his own. He is down to low flow cannula on .0125 Os. He is not quiet ready to be off oxygen, although he pulls the cannula out constantly so we resort to taping it to his nose.”
Jack | 23 Week Preemie | NICU Portraits | Charlotte, North Carolina NICU Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
“Jack was expected to be born in April 2017, he had other ideas. We were working and living on job assignment in Indiana and drove to Charlotte for a few days to spend time with family for the holidays. The night after we got here, Jack arrived as well. From the point of water breaking, it took 12 minutes until Mini Man graced us with his presence. It has been such a huge roller coaster since we got here. A lot of one step forwards and two steps back.”
These photos were taken a while back, but Jack is definitely making progress. Click here to see how Jack is doing!
Newborn Baby Girl, Leah | Charlotte, North Carolina Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Meet Leah! She's quite adorable, and so are her sisters. This newborn session was so much fun and included a surprise visit from Leah's dad! Mom didn't know he was coming home and she was brought to tears when he walked in the door, just in time for a few photos. Newborn photos are such a special time, and I hate when Dads have to miss out and go back to work. I'm so glad he made it to this session because this family wouldn't be complete without him!
Eliza | In-Home Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
I was so delighted to meet Cara at work one day! It was way back when I was on night shift. I got pulled to work in her unit and we chatted all night long. Although it was years ago, I didn't forget her. I was so thrilled when she contacted me to photograph the newest member of her family, Eliza. Not only was I excited that she asked, but her other two children are just gorgeous! Her third baby was sure to be a beauty!
Although Eliza's story is a happy one, she came to this world after some heartache.
“Eliza was our 8th very wanted pregnancy and is our 3rd living child. I have a clotting disorder that has caused us a lot of issues in childbearing. It took us a while to really believe that we were going to get to hold Eliza in our arms because after losing our son at 20 weeks in 2015, we hadn’t really decided whether or not we would try one last time. Apparently, Eliza made that decision for us...and we were surprised! After 39 weeks of impatiently waiting, our third rainbow baby and final addition to our family arrived! Luke and Hannah, her two older siblings couldn’t be more excited and it has been such a joy to see our family grow to completion! We are thankful!”
Sure enough, Eliza is just as beautiful as expected! Take a look at this beautiful family of five below.
Olivia | In-Home Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Have you seen Olivia around? She's definitely making an impression on my Instagram page. The reason is because she is a beauty, just like her mom!
Calli is a friend of mine who I work with at the hospital, and I was ecstatic when she asked me to be her photographer. Not only do I absolutely love her, but I knew her baby would be precious and I just had to get in on the action.
I never assume my pregnant friends will use me as their photographer just because we're friends, and I never ask to take their photos. I always wait for them to come to me first. Choosing a photographer is a personal decision based on many different factors, and I wouldn't dare compromise friendships just to get new clients. [Plus, if you're my friend before you become a client, you get a really sweet deal. So I'm not making that much off of you anyways!]
I always encourage friends to have their photos taken, even if they don't hire me as their photographer. Families and children change, and you can never get these moments back. So of course Calli and I casually talked about photos earlier in the year when she first found out she was pregnant, but I didn't know if she was definitely going to have photos taken. You can imagine my excitement when she "officially" asked me to be her photographer!
Flash forward a few months when sweet Olivia made her appearance. She's more beautiful than I imagined she'd be, and her parents are absolutely smitten. Calli signed Olivia up for a Baby Plan membership, so you'll be seeing her in a few months for her sitter session!
Asher | 25 Week Preemie | NICU Portraits | Charlotte, North Carolina NICU Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
in 25 weekers, baby, boy, nicu, preemies
“We chose the name Asher because of it’s beautiful meaning: happy, blessed, and fortunate...which is exactly how we feel today!”
Asher was born at 25 weeks and 6 days at just 2 pound 6.9 ounces. When we met, he was over 2 months old, and looking oh so healthy! He was working on learning how to take bottles and was able to go home to be with his parents and big brother, Jackson, in February right after his due date.
Kerri and Nate's story wasn't easy though. Jackson was conceived by IVF (in vitro fertilization) after a few years of infertility treatments and several rounds of IVF. Asher was conceived using a frozen embryo - Isn't that amazing!? Our medical advances are absolutely astonishing sometimes!
All went well during Asher's time inside the womb, until Kerri was diagnosed with preeclampsia. It eventually progressed and became so severe that Asher had to be delivered via emergency c-section. He was born on November 4th and experienced a few hiccups along the way that complicated his stay in the NICU. Today is he is looking stronger and stronger!
Peyton | In-Home Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
This family! I cannot express how excited I am to have them as clients. I so enjoyed their newborn session for many reasons. They just recently moved here from New Jersey and had just enough time to get settled in before their second baby came along.
Speaking of their second baby... Have you SEEN her?! Let me introduce you to Peyton. She's the newest member of the Krista Gantt Photography family, and she is PRECIOUS. Her big sister, Kennedy, is equally as adorable - and so sweet with her little sister. This family is a member of my Baby Plan, so you'll be able to watch Peyton and Kennedy grow with me over the next 2 years. Read more about Baby Plan membership here.
Avayah | 29 Week Preemie | NICU Portraits | Charlotte, North Carolina NICU Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
“She is a rainbow baby, as we had our first pregnancy end in miscarriage in May of 2016. ”
It was a pleasure meeting Avayah and her sweet family in the NICU. She is currently in the neonatal intensive care unit and is working towards going home soon. When I met Avayah, she was having a great day. She handled her outfit changes very well, and was even able to come out of her bed to enjoy skin-to-skin time with her mom and dad. I can tell she is going to do big things one day!
Here is Avayah's birth story, as told by her mom:
"We found out we were expecting the end of July 2016! At 29 weeks gestation, I suddenly developed HELLP syndrome. My platelets became dangerously low at 16,000 and they had to perform an emergency c-section. She was therefore born on Saturday, 1/21/17 at 9:40 am. She was 2 pounds and 11 ounces of strength! She is has increased her weight daily, and she is up to full feedings via her OG tube. She's such a great baby and is very chill. She loves skin to skin time and reading her stories. We are so blessed she continues to do so well and cannot wait to take her home."
Brooklyn's One Year Cake Smash | Charlotte, North Carolina | Child Portrait Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Brooklyn is one! Can you believe this sweet little baby from this newborn session, this 3 month session, and this 6 month session is already over a year old?! I cannot believe how fast she's growing, so I know her mom and dad must feel the same way! Amy, Elliot, and Brooklyn have been a joy to work with over the past year, and I'm excited to continue working with them in the future!
Baby Plan membership includes a one year session, so Amy decided to do outdoor photos in addition to an indoor cake smash. Brooklyn was not super excited to destroy the cake like most babies. She's a lady, so she went about it very carefully. However, once she got a little taste, she was all in!
The Story of the Cake
Brooklyn did great at her session, considering the type of morning she and her mom were having. The cake was ordered a few weeks before the session to be picked up at a local bakery. When Amy arrived, she was told that the cake was actually going to be ready the next Friday. Wrong. She needed the cake that morning. They messed up the date, so they were kind enough to give Amy four cupcakes to use at the session. Not ideal, but it would work.
Amy arrives with Brooklyn, unloads her outfits and diaper bag, and sets Brooklyn down. She goes back for the cupcakes. She walks in the door and immediately drops them, face down, on the floor! Poor Amy! We took a field trip up the road to Daphne's Bakery, and they certainly saved the day! They had the most tasty almond cake ready to go, and of course it was nice and neutral - just how I like them.
Luckily, Amy is a good sport and didn't let the cake fiasco ruin her day. The new cake was delicious! It was a little too big for Brooklyn, so of course Amy and I had to help her eat it! Brooklyn was happy throughout her session, and we were able to capture some really cute images of her!
Aiden | In-Home Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Aiden wasn't supposed to be one of my preemies that I usually photograph in the NICU. His mom called me well in advance of her due date, but unfortunately Aiden came a little earlier than expected. He was born at 34 weeks and did spend some time in the NICU, but today is healthy and at home!
I photographed him in his home and he did so great! He slept throughout his entire session, and didn't make a peep. I loved hanging out with his mom during his session too. She's so easy going and is thankful to have her boy home with her. Enjoy Aiden's newborn images!
Will | Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Jeannie is a sweet friend I met at the hospital - she works in a neighboring unit. When I met with her for her consultation, we hit it off from the start. I mentioned that l hadn't been floated to work in her unit in quite some time. In fact, we had never officially met in person until the consultation. We had never crossed paths at work. To my surprise, the very next day, I was floated to her unit! I even gave report to her that night at the end of my shift, transferring the care of my babies to her. By the end of her shift, she was into labor.
Will was a few weeks early and spent some time in the NICU for respiratory issues, but was able to make it home in time for his newborn session, which was 2 days before his due date.
Will's session went great and his parents were so warm and welcoming. They even offered me some coffee! I don't always get to drink it because I'm busy working with the babies, but I certainly appreciate the gesture! I absolutely loved working with this family and their sweet boy!
Newborn Baby Girl, Lula Kate | Charlotte, North Carolina Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Kayla is another dear friend of mine! I grew up with Kayla, running around the streets of Wexhurst, sliding down her playroom stairs on a mattress, and bouncing for hours on end on her trampoline. We have so many memories together from childhood to rooming together at Clemson. It's amazing that we've been friends for long and it has been fun seeing where life has taken her.
Kayla's first pregnancy was exciting, to say the least! Miss Lula Kate surprised Kayla a little later in her pregnancy than most moms. Kayla was more than thrilled to find out she was pregnant, and now she's totally in love with her new little angel baby.
Speaking of angels, Lula Kate slept like one during her session! She was alert for some photos too, which I am not mad about. Alert babies can make for some really cute photos, as long as they're not crying of course. Check out the photos of Lula in the pearl necklace! I think she looks just precious, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed!
I'm excited to see Lula Kate grow into a little person and watch Kayla and Jim learn the tricks of being parents. Lula is already loved by so many!
Quinn | Newborn Session | Charlotte, North Carolina Newborn Photographer | Krista Gantt Photography
Introducing... Quinn Berkeley! She's a sweetie and Teagan is a very proud big sister! I was so glad to have the opportunity to capture these images of my work friend's baby. Kelley is a NICU nurse and I am glad to call her a friend. She's sweet and fun, and a little silly too! We met on night shift but we're both happy to be working in the sunlight hours now. Enjoy these photos - and this pretty nursery!
